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What I wish I knew when I started High School

me and my girl

me and my girl

My daughter started high school this year.  As a mother, this feels a little scary.  I am continually reminding myself that she isn’t me and that her life experiences up to this point have been very different than my experiences were at her age. I am happy for her to begin to feel some freedom and explore new things and ideas. I am happy to know that she will build friendships that may last for many years.

There are a few things that I would love to tell her. Things that I wish I knew when I started high school.

  • Even the “cool kids” feel insecure often
  • Not everybody is doing it (that goes for sex, drugs, alcohol and cigarettes)
  • If they are doing it, they aren’t having as much fun as they are saying
  • People respect you when you respect yourself
  • Being mean is not cool
  • Getting good grades matters
  • What your classmates think of you may change from day to day and won’t matter in 10 years
  • It’s more fun when you don’t take yourself too seriously

So far, she is navigating the unknown territory beautifully. She seems to take much of the drama in stride and tries to stay away from trouble. I am grateful for a handful of wonderful woman who serve as a mentor to her when she doesn’t want to listen to her mother. I can’t blame her, I didn’t want to listen to my mother either. Now I can’t get enough of my mom.

I have also started to share pieces of my story with my daughter. She knows that I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. She asks questions and I tell her the truth that I think she can take in that moment. It scares her. It takes her a while, sometimes months, before she asks the next question. I’m in no rush. I want her to know that she has choices in life. Every step is a choice. Every choice has consequences. I don’t want this to be a burden for her, I want it to give her freedom. Freedom to express herself fully without fear, to see the big picture and not feel threatened by the small shit. These years can be a time of experimenting, learning, pushing boundaries and testing the water without diving into the depths of chaos.

I hope that she has the strength to choose differently than I did, that she chooses to listen to her inner guidance even when it is the softest voice in the room.

Summer Loving

So I took the summer off from blogging. I decided to focus any extra time I had on my family. It has been a great summer. We took a couple of vacations as well as enjoyed the beauty Sarasota has to offer. I continued to work and even had the opportunity to teach some yoga on the road. School starts on Monday and I think we are all feeling restored as individuals and as a family. During this time, I’ve made some new connections and strengthened existing friendships. Reflecting on the past couple months, I would have to say that this time has been about relationships with others.

There has even been a shift in my relationship with my husband. I feel we have grown as a couple because of our willingness to look at each other with appreciation, to give each other the benefit of the doubt, and to look for ways to find solutions instead of proving a point. After seeing the impact yoga has made on my life, spiritually, emotionally and physically, my husband is getting ready to start a yoga teacher training program. I am super excited for him! He really has no idea what he is getting himself into, but I think he will love it if he lets himself fully experience even half of what this program has to offer. I feel like this will expand our relationship even further. I look forward to sharing ideas with him about the deeper meaning of the Sutras, about the physical practice and about how the study of this practice can impact our family. I am content in knowing it will all unfold just as it should.

Balancing Tip- cha, cha, cha Chia! Yes, that’s right. The same seeds many people spread on ceramic heads and animals years ago are what we should have been eating all along. Here is a link to a great article on the wonders of chia seeds and a couple of ways to incorporate them into your diet. http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4353/6-Reasons-Why-You-Should-Eat-Chia.html

lessons from the bleachers

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I spend a lot of my time on the bleachers. There are days that I don’t want to be anywhere else and there are days when I struggle to not pull out some work. It seems to be the one time when I’m not working, that I can do just one thing–watch baseball. I watch my son play baseball. He is in the local Little League. His team consists of 10, 11 and 12 year-olds. There are tons of benefits to his participation: exercise, teamwork, social skills, perseverance, etc. I think it’s great that he has this opportunity. Some of the kids on the team are pretty good and some not so good. My son probably falls somewhere in the middle. The kids are great and so are the coaches.

What I find to be the most interesting is the other parents. Not all of the other parents. About half of them are pretty chill. During a practice, they might read a book or chat quietly with each other. During the games, they are cheering the kids on and enjoying themselves. It’s the other ones I’m referring to. The ones that scream at their kids to make better plays or allow veins to bulge in their neck and forehead because a 10 year-old child swung at a ball that was at eye level. I just don’t get it. These are children who are “playing”. Although I don’t get caught up in professional sports, I remember my father yelling at the TV during sporting events. My rational in being ok with the latter is that these are adults making serious money. They are paid handsomely to only swing at strikes. And even then, they make an out more than half of the times they are up to bat. What would make anyone think that a child could do better than that?

At last night’s game, we were getting creamed by a team we had beaten the week prior. This was exceptionally hard on “those” parents. As I watched, I started to make a connection between these people and the people we know who make a lot of noise on the perimeter of our lives. You know, the ones who critique and voice displeasure even though it has nothing to do with them. They should be mixing it up in their own game, but instead stand on the sidelines and mock. I came to the conclusion that it was good practice for the kids for later in life. After the game, I asked my son if the comments bothered him. His response was, “What comments?” I hope he is still saying that 30 years from now.

Recharging

Recharging

I went home this past weekend. It was my beautiful mother’s birthday. I didn’t realize how much I needed it. It is really easy for me to block out the fact that I miss my family. I stay busy by focusing on work and the needs of my kids. I love what I do, where I work, and the friends I have made, but there is nothing like hanging out with my family for a couple of days. They are the funniest people I know.

The trip was short and sweet and I was back into my routine in no time. I feel different though. I feel recharged. I feel supported. Most importantly, I feel a renewed connection to the people I have known and loved the longest. Because of this, I feel the need to make more regular visits to the Philadelphia/Cherry Hill area. In order to make this more cost-effective, I have decided to offer some services while I am in the area. I’m talking to a few different people about the details. So far, the services will include massage and Reiki treatments. There is also the possibility of a yoga workshop. I am shooting for the beginning of August and the plan will be to work for a few days and then hang out and relax for a few days. I love the idea of reconnecting with some old friends and clients as well as making new connections. I am excited about the possibility of recharging myself while supporting and helping others to recharge at the same time.

Once I have a firm date and location, I will start booking sessions. I would appreciate any ideas or feedback you may have.

Oops! I originally posted this without a tip! Nutritional tip #5-ginger tea. Ginger tea not only aids in digestion but helps to calm and ground us. I have found myself recommending it to quite a few people lately. It can been made fresh very easily. You take some fresh ginger root and peel about a half an inch of the outer skin. Slice the exposed area and place it in boiling water for a few minutes. Ta-da! Fresh ginger tea! You can strain it if you wish and add honey or agave to taste. Perfect for after dinner. Enjoy!

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